The Eskimo Executive

So, out of the melange of facts and factoids formed by my formal education, casual conversations, and various apocryphal forms of entertainment, I have come to understand that Eskimo language and cultures puts an emphasis on *now* -- not to say they don't plan for the future or remember the past, but they are more hard-wired to "live in the moment." I can't confirm that this is an accurate portrayal of their culture, but it is intuitively appealing to me.

I've realized that there is a class of executive who follows this philosophy. Sadly, not in the "let's stay in the moment and squeeze the juice out it" way...but more in that they have the ability to present an opinion with absolute conviction, then change their minds up to 180 degrees -- and they never acknowledge the change. The case for the new opinion is made without a twinge or backward glance. And woe to anyone who states or intimates that there was every a different point of view.

It's difficult to appreciate the Eskimo Executive when you are directly involved in the about-face (you're too busy controlling your large muscle groups from the fight-or-flight response). But if you can watch from the sidelines, it's fascinating. For a long time, I assumed these people knew they were making massive changes in their opinions/directions. I thought it was just ego or a sense of "let's not upset the little people" or "must not show weakness; pretend nothing has changed."

But I've come to realize: they do not know they've done it. The shift is instantaneous. They truly believe they always held the same (read: correct) opinion. And if tomorrow new information necessitates a change in the correct opinion, hey, they will have always held that one, of course.

I know you've seen it. There's even a country song about it: "He was frequently wrong, but never in doubt." Now, here's a question to ponder: How do you know if you are an Eskimo Executive? I mean, wouldn't the very definition of the problem mean you could never perceive it?

So I wonder if the fact that I notice this in others means I share the trait. (This is, of course, the psychological corollary to my brother's axiom: "He who smelt it, dealt it.") Or does the simply act of wondering about it mean I am not afflicted? Hmm...

Afternoon Delete

OK, how many of you remember diskettes? Cute, little, portable, magnetic miracles that let you store - gasp - 1.44Mb of data. Yes, that's right...1,440,000K (and change). Now I know you young folk with your rock-and-roll music may not appreciate this, but at the time, it was a break-through. [Quit smirking, or I'll make you sit still while I ramble on about that heady day when Lotus 1-2-3 finally enabled us to make text BOLD and COLORFUL (albeit on a separate file) with Allways.]

Today we have so much space on our computer drives that it boggles the mind....so much space that I rationalize keeping things that I should delete. The funny thing is, within my circle of friends, I'm actually one of the more ruthless deleters (is that a word?)...deletitions? Deletionists? Hell, I have fewer than 100 emails in my inbox --- as opposed to several collegues who have (I am not kidding) +13,000 sitting in their inbox...with as many as 3000 unread. And the only reason they stop at 13,000 is that IT forces them to archive occassionally.

Here's my question....why do I save all this crap? I mean, I know what I think I save it. I think I may need it one day. But I also know that when I do need something, 4 times out of 10, I can't find the right email. I could go off on a rant about people who send me emails with subject lines of "question" and "tomorrow's meeting" so that there's no chance of identifying the true topic, but that's not really my point.

Why do we do this? Why do we save 14 versions of a project that's long since been delivered? Why do we save ever iteration of an email string? Why do we faithfully store every crappy presentation that our collegues thrust upon us? It's part lazyness, part covetousness, and part paranoia. Covynoia....that's that's the technical term.

I've yet to meet an ascetic business person....though it would be interesting. "Hello, my name is Pat, and I keep everything I need on this single 1.44MB diskette. When I receive new information, I simply delete the old. So for the near term, I look forward to interacting with you. At some point, though, your contact information will be over-written by a new bit of data, and we will lose contact. Until then, as long as you don't send me any graphic or sound files, I will enjoy our interaction. Hey, don't be sad; it's a FIFO world."

Consider User Needs Before the Fight Begins

No doubt there are hundreds, if not thousands, of conversations going on around the world at this moment about a deceptively complex idea: report design.

The Marketing types want a report that looks great. They get really excited about creating a mock-up that could win an award on the sheer strength of its Greeked copy blocks. Colors? Of course! Charts? The more, the merrier. Pull-downs? Filters? Ad hoc queries? Yes. Yes. and You betcha.

On the other side of the conference table, you have the Technology types who are listening, tight-lipped and imagining just how little they will see of their spouse, children, speedboats, Wii, or other distraction of the next several days. Every bell and whistle that flies so buoyantly out of the mouth of a Marketer lands like a brick on the soul of the Programmer. Often they have been trained (by Marketing outbursts) that "this will all be over quicker" if they just shut up and absorb the fantasies. But sometimes even the most stoic techies reach their breaking point. You can feel the ancient word coming from somewhere deep in their brainstem...."NO!" they finally cry.

Forgotten all too often in this power-struggle is...you guessed it: the user.

There's not an easy solution that will make Marketing and Technology hold hands and skip down the report design path. Yet, you can reduce some of the strife if you are clear about key ideas like WHO is going to use the report, WHAT they need to know, and HOW they are likely to look for answers.

Not exactly earth-shaking, I know. But I also know it's a step that is forgotten much of the time. Try it next time...take 20 minutes to really thinking about and prioritize the users' needs. You might be amazed at the outcome.

How Now Dow Jow...er Jones

I'm confused about the fascination with the Dow Jones Index on the nightly news and water cooler conversations. It's a barometer of sorts, sure. But it's hardly the most representative. And while currently it sucks and the economy sucks (sorry, technical terms, stay with me)...it's not like the DJI causes economic problems or necessarily reflects them.

I'm not trying to say everything is peachy - every indicator is in a bad place right now. But why does DJI have a choke hold on our national psyche? Especially considering the fact that many of the people who rattle off the "number at the bell" don't really have much in the stock market anyway. If the average net worth in this country is negative (i.e., families owe more than they own)...then the DJI's trajectory is interesting, but not that compelling, eh?

I own mutual funds, and I've watched them shrink dramatically -- but I still plan to continue buying. "Buy low" right? Beats the alternative: locking in those losses.

There's two polar opposite outcomes here...first, the whole thing collapses into a pile of ruble in which case my portfolio, whether in a stock or cash position, will be as useful as Confederate bonds. OR, and I admit I think this more likely, there's a recovery somewhere down the path, in which case, staying in is the right choice.

But I digress...my really point of this was WHY is the DJI the touchstone? Just because it's quick and easy? People think they understand it (though I imagine very few do).... I dunno, it just seems weird to me that in a 180 min news update, the DJI numbers get spat out as if they had great impact on our daily lives. Or maybe I'm missing something....